There has been a trend for the last couple of decades to praise kids for everything they do, under the misguided idea that this builds their self-esteem. The line between genuine encouragement and false praise has been crossed in too many areas of our society. In the old days we called this blowing smoke.
I've been through it with both my kids - everything from my daughter's "we both won!" in little league games (they don't keep score under a certain age) to endless reprieves for my son's late homework ("well we know he CAN do it if he wanted to"). I've battled this for twenty years. I'm a big believer in personal responsibility and consequences for your actions, both good and bad. I also believe there is an unsettling trend away from teaching kids how win with grace, and lose with honor. Call me old-fashioned.
I'm glad I grew up in a time when adults weren't afraid to let you fail. Had I lived by today's rules, I may still be thinking I was a decent baseball player. I wasn't. I might think I was quite advanced at playing guitar and violin. I failed miserably at both. I was blessed with two parents who backed my numerous fleeting dreams of being this or doing that, but let me discover for myself my own capabilities. Looking back, I realize how much this helped me learn what I now believe I was always intended to be - an oil painter.
The one constant, the one thing I was always comfortable doing, was drawing. The praise I recieved as a child for my artistic endeavors never felt phony, they felt earned. The critiques were invaluable. They made me want to continue learning and improving. In fact, I'll spend the rest of my life doing just that.
I've always believed we each have God-given talents, and once we discover what those are and embrace them, many blessings will come our way.
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